ALABAMA (Capitol Hill Underground) – A new study out of the University of Alabama found that anti-mask sentiment is most popular among low IQ individuals and those suffering from halitosis (bad breath) and small hang things.
The groundbreaking study, conducted in the basement of a frat house at the University of Alabama, has the internet in an uproar. Anti-maskers (scientific name nimrods) refute the findings arguing, “face masks are an infringement on our freedom and just another form of government mind control.”
When asked if they think seat belts are also an infringement on their freedoms the groups spokesperson responded, “FAKE NEWS!”
If the results of this study are verified, the great irony is that those suffering from bad breath would benefit the most from wearing masks.