Tensions heat up between Eric Trump and Don Jr as they fight for fathers first hug

WASHINGTON (Capitol Hill Underground) – Tensions between the President’s sons have reached a boiling point in recent months as the two vie for their fathers first hug, according to sources close to the family. It seems things may not be as cozy in the White House as Kellyanne Conway has led the press to believe.

Late last month, Don Jr. was overheard at a TGI Fridays happy hour complaining to a colleague, “Ivanka gets all the love, all the hugs… It’s like Hey Dad! We exist too. You know what I mean?” 

Trump (left) oogles Ivanka (right) as brothers watch on (off camera)

Meanwhile, in an article from Composure Magazine (May 1999 edition) Eric Trump revealed: “I once saw father give Don Jr. a fist bump… and I’m not gonna lie to you, that one hurt to see. I actually spent a few years in therapy because of the trauma. [Eric leans in] The things is, it wasn’t even that cool of a bump, Don Jr. boogered it all up like the dweeb he is… by the way this is all of the record right?”

Putting all journalistic integrity aside, it’s not lookin good for those on the inner circle of the Trump Cartel. Will the tides change or is there a tsunami off the coast?

We asked the brothers their thoughts on their brother-in-law, Jared Kushner, to which they both responded, in unison: “Don’t even get us started on that prick.”

Who will get the first hug? Follow along at #huggate2020


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