WASHINGTON (Capitol Hill Underground) – Vice President Mike Pence gave into national pressure earlier today announcing he has agreed to be tested for the highly contagious Trump Ass Kissing Syndrome (TAKS). Many in the administration have tested positive for the virus leading many to wonder just how far this virus has spread.
“At this point we are just trying to stay ahead of the damn thing, ” said Dr. Anthony Fauci, National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases Director. He also urged those closest to the President to practice common sense practices i.e. limiting exposure Fox News, staying off Facebook and to not, under any circumstance, be alone in a room with Trump.
Those closest to the Vice President told reporters, “we’ve had our suspicions for a while and just wanted to put the rumors to rest. We took the test for peace of mind more than anything.”
Check out this video from The Washington Post where Pence praises Trump once every twelve seconds for three minutes straight:
When VP Pence steps up to the mic at White House press briefings you can be sure of three things: he will praise the President an inordinate amount, he will squint the entire time and he most likely has a boner tucked up behind his belt buckle, all covert like.
As of the publishing of this article, Pence will not be given any paid time off to combat the virus, leading many of his family members wondering – when is enough, enough?