Trump Threatens Trade War with Westeros

Boiling tensions between the White House and King's Landing have both nations on edge

WINTERFELL (Capitol Hill Underground) – US President Donald Trump hinted on Monday that his administration has been running the numbers on possibly imposing tariffs on our long time ally, Westeros.

Speaking to reporters from the great hall in Winterfell – where Trump was quelling any fears that the government was considering confiscating the publics crossbows – Trump didn’t deny the rumors.

The feud began years ago when Petyr Baelish, known as ‘Little Finger’ on Capitol Hill, allegedly banned Trump from one of his brothels after a handful of women accused Trump of inappropriate requests.

According to Varys, the late Master of Whispers in King’s Landing, it was common knowledge in brothels around the seven kingdoms that Trump occasionally enjoyed a ‘golden shower’ and was willing to pay handsomely for it.

It was no secret, and reported heavily upon, that Trump and the Late King Robert Baratheon would hold wild, wine induced, orgies in the castle whenever the two got together. In fact, it was those same soirées that ultimately led to the irreparable rift between him and the late Queen Cersei.

While economists are still crunching the numbers – a trade war between these two power houses could cost the seven kingdoms a whole lot of golden dragons and silver stags. The real question is – Will the Iron Bank of Braavos be willing to pull them out of a recession yet again?


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