10 Surefire Ways to Predict What Trump is Going to Say Next

These hacks are sure to make you look like an informed voter at your next dinner party.

In the current age of uncertainty, the 24-hour news cycle and the ever expanding abyss between our political parties it can be a daunting task keeping up with President Trump. From his early hour tweet storms to his meandering two hour monologues (did anyone see his CPAC speech? That was wild wasn’t it?) it can be downright tricky trying to figure out what Trump is going to say, much less do next.

Political pundits are constantly complaining they have no idea what garbage the ol’ Trumpster is going to spew next so we took it upon ourselves to compile an airtight roadmap into the psyche of President Donald J. Trump.

  1. If he promised not to say or do it in the past, chances are at sometime in the future he will do or say that exact thing.
    • ex. cutting Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security in his 2020 Budget, golfing every day, etc.
  2. If any of Fox’s illustrious ‘reporters’ spoke about it the day before, chances are Trump will parrot it the following day.
    • ex. literally almost everything.
  3. If his legal team told him not to say it, chances are he will say it… Live on television or in a tweet. 
    • ex. payments to Stormy Daniels, Trump-Moscow deal, Russian meetings, firing Comey, etc.
  4. If it has do with demeaning women, their looks and/or intelligence, chances are he will say it. 
    • ex. ‘Grab um’ by the pussy’ – need we say more? Honestly.
  5. If it is something that Vladimir Putin wants, chances are he will say it. 
    • ex. discrediting our intelligence agencies, leaving NATO, giving Mike Pence a back rub…
  6. If it goes against everything he campaigned on, chances are he will say it, do it and lie about it.
    • ex. drain the swamp, lock her up, balance the budget, have Mexico pay for the wall…. Hell, build a wall at all.
  7. If it is a matter of morality or general human decency, chances are he will say the immoral response. 
    • ex. Protestors v. Nazis / White Supremist (2018)
  8. If it is a matter of statistics, fact or common knowledge, he will say the opposite. 
    • ex. climate change, crowd size, etc.
  9. If you think to yourself, “Surely, no sane person would possibly say this.” Unfortunately, chances are he will.
    • “I know words, I have the best words.”
  10. And lastly, a good general rule of thumb is, if a lying con man in an ill-fitting suit would do it, chances are he would, will and has done it.
    • We like to use the following acronym around the office – WWLCMD?

We hope this helps you as we inch ever closer to the 2020 election. Please share with us any other ways you have of predicting what the President will say or do next #POTUSPredictions #WWLCMD

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