Republican Congressmen Attempt To Catfish Incoming Wild Card Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

WASHINGTON (Capitol Hill Underground) – If the congressional freshmen class of 2019 expected a warm welcome, they were sorely mistaken. According to sources within the capitol building senior Republicans attempted to ‘catfish’ incoming freshman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez her first week on the job.

Allegedly, when Ocasio-Cortez entered her new offices, there was a crude drawing of a catfish on her desk with the words ‘watch your back’ scribbled illegibly underneath. Apparently, some of the congressmen aren’t up to date on what ‘catfishing’ actually is, but their meager attempt sends a pretty clear message — They are terrified of the incoming congressional class… and they should be!

This freshmen class is breaking all sorts of records. The ‘New York Times’ does a killer write up on it below:


Known curmudgeon and Capitol Hill stalwart, Senator Lindsay Graham, defended the Republicans attempt stating, “My son complains to me all the time that the girls at school keep catfishing him so I figured it was as good a time as any for some good ol’ fashioned hazing.”

Immediately following that quote Graham and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell fist bumped and ran laughing into the mens bathroom.

* As of the posting of this article the two Senators were still in the bathroom, most likely smoking cigs and tagging on the walls. 


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