WASHINGTON (Capitol Hill Underground) – President Trump remains steadfast in his belief that he will not and cannot be impeached. That may well change once he learns the true meaning of the term ‘impeach’.
Before boarding Air Force One for his biweekly trip to Mar-a-Lago, acclaimed reporter April O’Neil, asked the president whether he was worried about being impeached.
Trump responded defensively, “There is a zero percent chance of me being impeached. In fact, I dare you to find me a peach big enough to place me in!”
A few of the reporters in attendance asked the president to clarify what he meant. “How in the world do you expect to place me in a peach? Have you seen a peach? They are puny. I could never be placed in one.”
“Mr. President, you are aware that impeachment is when a legislative body formally levels criminal charges which could result or lead to removal from office?” April O’Neil asked a bit skeptically.
“Are you sure?” Trump asked.
Trump mulled it over and casually responded, “Well in that case… Yes, that is definitely a possibility. It all depends on what that dork Mueller has figured out by now.”
His answer left all the reporters in attendance speechless as the President proceeded to board Air Force One… with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
*April O’Neil’s press pass was revoked shortly after this encounter.