Trump Hires Michael Scott to Replace Outgoing Chief of Staff John Kelly

SCRANTON (Capitol Hill Underground) — President Trump stunned staffers Monday when he announced Michael Scott would be replacing the embattled Chief of Staff, John Kelly. Michael Scott is the former manager at a mid-range paper supply company based in Scranton, Pennsylvania, Dunder Mifflin. Scott first appeared on our radar after a watermark controversy forced him to make a public apology back in 2007.

Scott may seem like an odd choice to replace the stern, no-nonsense John Kelly, but political pundits argue that’s actually the point. John Kelly and Michael Scott are polar opposites which a quote we obtained from the new Chief of Staff clearly demonstrates.

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy – both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

When pressed about whether his ‘likeable’ management style could work in this cutthroat administration, Scott responded, “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.”

Reporters pressed the President Monday on what influenced his decision. Trump revealed, “We actually met at a local Chilli’s where we split an awesome blossom. It was the best. I mean, I make them better, but it was great. Probably the best one they had ever made. Have you heard of them before? They’re awesome. Yes, he is a great hire.”

We recently caught up with an old colleague of Scotts’, Stanley Hudson, who when asked about Trumps most recent hire started laughing maniacally.

*Michael Scott is the proud owner of over seventeen ‘Dundies’. 

** Stanley Hudson was still laughing when we left the room. 

549 Shares

1 Comment

  1. My spouse and i felt quite happy Emmanuel could conclude his basic research with the ideas he got when using the blog. It is now and again perplexing to just choose to be freely giving procedures which usually a number of people may have been trying to sell. And we also do know we need you to appreciate for that. Most of the explanations you have made, the straightforward web site navigation, the friendships you will help to create – it’s everything sensational, and it is leading our son in addition to the family consider that this matter is brilliant, which is especially vital. Many thanks for everything!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*