Michael Cohen Pleads Guilty to Being a ‘Creepy Weirdo’

WASHINGTON (Capitol Hill Underground) — President Donald Trump’s former lawyer and long time fixer, Michael Cohen, shocked the media Wednesday by offering up a guilty plea admitting he lied to congress about being a ‘creepy weirdo’.

In August, Robert Mueller’s investigation forced Cohen to plead guilty to eight counts of campaign finance violations, tax fraud and bank fraud. Earlier this week Cohen submitted another guilty plea for lying to the Senate regarding Trump and Vladimir Putin’s plans for Trump Tower Moscow. Those first two guilty pleas look bad, but this third one may be the worst of all. Being a creep is one thing, being a weirdo another, but being both? There is no coming back from that.

Vox has a great write up on potential implications surrounding Cohen, Trump and all things Russia below:



For those of you who can’t keep up with the 24-hour news cycle (and who can blame you), Michael Cohen burst onto the scene following Trumps rise to power when he was found to have orchestrated Stormy Daniels ‘hush money’ snafu. Since then Cohen has been at the epicenter of much political drama, eclipsing his previous blunders by keeping audio recordings of Trump in his personal office right next to a VHS tape titled, “Boner Jams 2013.”

When asked about the tape, Cohen said, “It’s not mine. My friend David, who works at an electronics store, gave it to me when I was going through a tough break up.”

Back in Trump and Cohen’s bar hopping days the unlikely duo was known around New York as the ‘Gruesome Twosome’. When asked about how the two earned the nickname, Cohen smirked and replied, “I plead the fifth.”

*David Schwimmer is set to play the handsy lawyer in his upcoming biopic.


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