Trump Nominates ‘Ryan the Temp’ to Head Up Fire Prevention Services as California Burns

PARADISE (Capitol Hill Underground) – President Trump sent shockwaves through the government Tuesday announcing his plan to hire ‘Ryan the Temp’ as head of the US Fire Prevention Services (USFPS). Ryan Howard comes from a failing mid-range paper supply company, Dunder Mifflin, where he was referred to around the office as, ‘The Fire Guy.”

Many people in congress and my bi-weekly book club think Trumps’ most recent nomination is a knee jerk reaction his latest blunder, ‘The Great Rake Controversy of 2018.’ While onsite in Paradise, CA following the devastating forest fire that decimated the community Trump said: “I was with the president of Finland and he said: ‘We have, much different, we are a forest nation.’ He called it a forest nation. And they spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things, and they don’t have any problem.”

Check out Finland’s reaction to the comments below:

CREDIT: The Guardian

Our team tracked down an old colleague of Ryan’s, Dwight Shrute, who had less than stellar things to say about Trump’s most recent hire. “You’re kidding me! The Temp? I wouldn’t even let that guy be the ARM (assistant to the regional manager). Did he tell you about the time he tried to burn the office down with his cheesy pita? Idiot!”

Will Trump’s most recent nominee land him in hot water? Only time shall tell.

*Ryan could not be reached for comment due to limited cell phone service as a part of his community service.


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