Justice Brett Kavanaugh Claims to be Top Contender as PBR’s New Spokesperson

MILWAUKEE (Capital Hill Underground) – After watching the cringe-worthy Kavanaugh hearing for the eleventh time, or as it’s known around our offices ‘Kavanaughty 2018’ it should come as no surprise that this man loves his beer.

In case you missed it, check it out below.

CREDIT: Deadspin

What did come as quite a shock was the newly appointed Supreme Court Justice using footage from the hearing to leverage himself into a spokesperson gig. Allegedly, he has sent this ‘audition video’ to numerous American beer companies in the hopes establishing a partnership.

When asked about whether he saw any conflicts of interest accepting money from private corporations Judge Kavanaugh responded, “I could care less about the money, I’m more interested in the free beer… I like beer.”

According to a Buzzfeed count, Kavanaugh mentioned beer over thirty times during the hearing which seems like an interesting tactic when you’re trying to persuade the nation you are not a sloppy drunk. That being said, he does now hold the title for most times mentioning beer in a Supreme Court confirmation hearing (record previously held by Justice Clarence Thomas).

Our team couldn’t help but to ask Judge Kavanaugh why he  loves beer so damn much.

He simply cracked open his beer, stared us dead in the eye and said, “because I love to boof on Squee.”

*PBR could not be reached for comment. That being said, Judge Kavanaugh is most certainly not on any shortlist to be their spokesperson.

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