BREAKING: Sen. Lindsey Graham Nominated for Oscar After Rare ‘Trumpian’ Performance at the Kavanaugh Hearing

Sen. Lindsey Graham goes full on beast mode at the Kavanaugh hearing.

LOS ANGELES (Capitol Hill Underground) — Last week, ‘The Kavanaugh Hearing’ had viewers across the nation glued to their screens giving CSPAN the highest ratings it has received since Clarence Thomas farted on live television.

Kavanaugh’s performance may have gone over well with Trump’s base, but the women in the audience were far from entertained. 

Brett Kavanaugh came out swinging with a 45-minute, scripted (believe it or not) tirade on the whole fucking ‘witch hunt’. Nothing was out of bounds for this “non-partisan”, level headed Yale graduate. He blamed the Clintons for pulling the strings of the Democratic Deep State while incoherently reiterating his love for beer and his gym sessions with Tobin and Skwee.

At times, the hearing got so heated that it was hard to believe this was real life and not another day time soap opera.

“Brett Kavanaugh definitely milked his time in the lime light, but Senator Graham stole the show with a brave, breath taking performance which ultimately earned him the recognition of Hollywood he has so longingly sought,” wrote Billy Rellano (film critic for the Congressional News & Review Journal).

Sen. Graham’s performance is receiving high praise from more than just politicians and Republicans.

“I’ve never seen another human being embody the skin of another so effortlessly,” exclaimed Academy Award winner Daniel Day-Lewis.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park, told Vice News in an off-the-record interview, “it was the best off Broadway show we’ve seen in years.”

On one side of the aisle you had the Democrats, or as they’re known on Fox News, Team Dr. Blasey Ford, doing everything within their power to delay the vote on Brett Kavanaugh. Their hope was that Ford’s testimony and shifting public opinion would force them to open an FBI investigation into the allegations.

On the other side of the aisle, we had the Republicans, who for all their spitting and screaming seemed really upset that anyone would dare smear the name of their Supreme Court nominee. They made it absolutely clear that they felt bad for BOTH Kavanaugh and Ford who fell into the Democrats evil ploy to take back the court. They also made it clear that no matter what happened they had all already decided to vote yes on Kavanaugh because, ya know, there couldn’t possibly be any other qualified candidates who haven’t been accused of atrocious crimes.

Will Sen. Graham’s performance be enough to swing public opinion in favor of Kavanaugh? Only time will tell. Tune into next weeks episode on CSPAN to find out for yourself.

Also, tired of old white men making all the rules? November 6th is right around the corner so get out there and vote people. Check if you’re registered to vote at https://votesaveamerica.com/

For a more comprehensive take on the hearing check out John Oliver’s latest episode below:

 

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