Unprecedented Category 6 Hurricane to Hit US Mainland

MANHATTAN, NY – What began as hot air bellowing in the bible belt, with undercurrents of racial prejudices, has spread across the rural US and neighborhoods  nationwide culminating in what may be the strongest hurricane to date. Hurricane Trump first appeared on meteorologists radar in the summer of 2015 when scientists from South Harmon Institute of Technology noticed some alarming trends developing in what many have referred to as, “the perfect storm.”

“We haven’t seen weather patterns like this since the civil war,” explains Professor Lewis. “It seems to have developed out of nowhere, riding in on the winds of regression.”

Authorities are warning those in the hurricanes path of destruction to be especially vigilant. According to experts latest forecasts DACA recipients, women, transgender military personnel and anyone with a general sense of morality are among the most likely to be affected by the hurricane.

Local officials are pleading with residents not to hunker down and attempt to sit this one out.

“We must evacuate our homes and storm the polling stations if we hope to have any chance of surviving this behemoth,” warned Dr. D. Rodman shortly before boarding a plane headed for Pyongyang in search of shelter from the storm.

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